


your pride has built a wall so strong that i can't get through

by viktorcreed



Series: a kiss with a fist is better than none [6]
Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Frottage, Internalized Homophobia, Kissing, M/M, Panic Attacks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-07
Updated: 2019-01-07
Packaged: 2019-10-05 22:23:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 917
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17333477
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/viktorcreed/pseuds/viktorcreed
Summary: It’s stupid. Steve knows. It’s a stupid thing to do. Steve is an idiot, he’s always been unbelievably fucking dumb.He doesn’t think he just acts and he just wanted to kiss Billy, suddenly. Or not really this desire isn’t sudden it’s been there awhile. This intimacy so close and yet a million miles away. He’s thought about it in passing, but he never really spent time entertaining the thought because actually doing it seemed impossible.





	your pride has built a wall so strong that i can't get through

**Author's Note:**

> ....so it's been a while I know. I'm sorry this took so long. 2018 sucked but I survived so we can call that winning. I struggled a lot with Billy's reaction in this but int he end this just made the most sense to me. Unbeta'd all mistakes are my own.

 

 

\--

 

Steve hasn’t been this far into the woods in years. When he was a kid he liked to come out here with his parents; they would pretend to be explorers or adventurers. And then he got older and his parents became busy and pretending to be the sole survivor of a crash landing on a strange distant planet just didn’t seem all that important anymore.

 

It’s odd being out here again, with Billy it almost feels like they’re violating his childhood bedroom or something. Steve voiced that thought earlier and Billy’s grin had turned fucking feral.

 

Steve’s got his back pressed against the ground, twigs and small rocks are scratching him through his shirt biting into the flesh of his back as Billy grinds their hips together in tight swift circles. And there’s that pleasure mixing with the pain thing again; Steve isn’t sure why it works, doesn’t really spend much time questioning it just enjoys the sensation.

 

He moans hips jerking forward and Billy just about snarls in response. He’s so aggressive now, it’s been just over three weeks since they’ve had a chance to be alone together again. Steve figures he would have lost interest, but it seems the lack of their –whatever this is (Steve doesn’t think too hard about labels because it gives him a headache trying to define it) had left Billy wanting instead of bored.

 

There’s some awkward fumbling as they both work to get their pants off and eventually just settle for pulling them down low enough to finally move together with skin on skin the way they like. It’s not as pleasant as it could be, the friction is a little dry but still it’s sensational somehow and Steve can’t help the desperate noises he makes.

 

Steve cums so quickly it should be embarrassing, they both do. It’s been too long, they’re too worked up. It should be embarrassing really but he doesn’t have the presence of mind to feel shame right now.

 

\--

 

Billy had plans. They had been on his mind for weeks leading up to now. He’d wanted to take Steve apart again, nice and slow, until he had the other boy shaking and begging for it. And Billy didn’t have any intention of waiting any longer, that’s the whole reason they’re out here in the middle of the woods.

 

The plans seemed moot now, Billy didn’t have a chance in hell of holding back once he’d finally –fucking finally—got his hands on Steve again. Oh well, the fact that Steve came just as pathetically fast as he had was enough to soothe his ego.

 

“I missed you.” Steve sighs quietly, making Billy sneer down at him. He’s got this ridiculous smile like he’s _actually_ happy to see Billy, genuinely happy.

 

It’s disgusting. Or probably some kinda of fucked up queer trick.

 

Billy’s got something appropriately vicious and cutting resting on the tip of his tongue ready to wipe that dopey look off Steve’s face, but he can’t get the words out. He can barely breathe because Steve is leaning up in his face, leaning up and forward, and pressing his lips against Billy’s like—

 

Like—

 

Fuck.

 

\--

 

It’s stupid. Steve knows. It’s a stupid thing to do. Steve is an idiot, he’s always been unbelievably fucking dumb.

 

He doesn’t think he just acts and he just wanted to kiss Billy, suddenly. Or not really this desire isn’t sudden it’s been there awhile. This intimacy so close and yet a million miles away. He’s thought about it in passing, but he never really spent time entertaining the thought because actually doing it seemed impossible.

 

But they hadn’t been this close in so long and Steve just got confused and he just wanted—

 

He’s expecting Billy to punch him so hard it makes his teeth bleed. Or to call him a fag or something equally nasty. Honestly Steve would have preferred Billy punching him in the face. Instead Billy seems frozen, in fear, his eyes glazing over wet like he might start crying any second.

 

“I won’t tell anyone.” Steve promises. Because it’s the first thing that comes to his mind to say, and it’s true. He doesn’t want anyone finding out about this any more than Billy does.

 

“Fuck.” Billy curses. “Fuck. Fuck.” It’s like this is the only word he remembers how to say.

 

Steve presses his lightly trembling hands against either sides of Billy’s face. “No one is going to find out. I swear.” He speaks, more calmly and confidently than he feels. And Billy looks at him scared and lost and curing. “No one will ever find out.” Steve swears and kisses Billy’s mouth until the boy stops cursing. Steve pulls back slowly and Billy is staring blankly, like he’s numb.

 

“If you tell anyone,” Billy says low slow and dangerous “I’ll cut your fucking tongue out.”

 

Then he’s kissing Steve, it’s a harsh brutal thing with too much teeth before Billy is licking into his mouth and kissing him deeper. Billy presses his weight into Steve forcing the boy back down without breaking the kiss. Steve moans clutching at the front of Billy’s shirt he can feel his dick getting hard again.

 

“God damn, Princess.” Billy says breathless in between one kiss and the next. He lets his tongue run along the roof of Steve’s mouth and swallows the moan that rises out of the boy’s throat. “I’m gonna fucking eat you alive.” Billy vows.

 

And Steve doesn’t doubt that for a second.

 

\--

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Guys, if someone is having a panic attack please don't kiss them it's a very bad idea. @victorcreed on tumblr


End file.
